Becca's Story

Becca sat in church for the first time in her life. She was feeling very uncomfortable. The pastor – she assumed he was the pastor as one of the only men in a suit – knelt, his forehead resting against his folded hands, near the front of the church. Was he praying? The couple in the row behind her whispered. Were they talking about her? She shifted self-consciously and scanned the paper in her hands. What would you call it: a bulletin, or a program, or just a flyer?

“Glad to see you, Becca.” Nathan, the friend who had invited her to come today, was dressed better than she had ever seen him. He smiled and conversed with her as though her presence at a church service was a weekly occurrence. Becca thought back to a day near the beginning of the school year.

“Hey! David!” she remembered Nathan yelling to his best friend. “I want to talk to you. I was up all night.”

“Man, you’re gonna flunk the algebra exam. Are you crazy?” David laughed.

“I was praying,” Nathan stated, as if that explained everything. He took a deep breath. “I need to tell you about how God changed my life – how He can change your life…”

Two guitarists began to play. Another man in a looser suit, the worship leader, invited everyone to stand and clap. As Becca caught the beat, she looked over and saw Cassie singing and smiling at her. Cassie didn’t go to Becca’s school. Her family began homeschooling when Cassie entered junior high. Becca still saw her around sometimes, like once in the mall.

Cassie balanced an ice cream cone in one hand and a shopping bag in the other. Her step was light and joyful coming out of the food court. A group of kids from school recognized her and began to tease her about being too good for them: a mommy’s girl. To Becca’s surprise, Cassie knelt right there in the middle of the mall and quoted, “Be still and know that I am God.”

“God,” the preacher prayed, “help our hearts to be open to receive Your Word this morning. I thank You for blessing us with the ability to give…” After the prayer, Joe sang a solo about the wonders of God while offering plates were passed around. Joe had always been into the arts.

“You can’t submit that painting,” said John, obviously disappointed. “What about the eagle painting instead?”

“I want to send a message,” answered Joe. “This is my favorite. It reminds me of Mom praying for me.”

Becca ran up. “Oh, are you entering a painting in the contest? Let me see.” Joe eagerly held up his canvas, and Becca knew why his friend was concerned. The picture was of a woman kneeling, bowing, weeping at the feet of three scenes. On the left was a first-century teacher sitting on a chair, using gestures to communicate his message. The second figure was apalling. A man, bruised and bloodied, hung by his wrists, which were nailed to a rough wooden cross. Quickly, she turned to the third figure. Joe’s inspired brush had painted a glorious king on a high yet somehow approachable throne. All three figures looked down on the woman with intensely compassionate eyes.

Becca sat, holding a hymnal filled with strange words and unfamiliar tunes. What did “interposed His precious blood” mean, anyway? What was so important that made these people so different? What were they singing about? She listened to the voices around her blend in harmony. Jenny sat with her sister and a group of youth a few rows ahead. One day with Emily, Jenny’s younger sister, Becca had listened in on Jenny’s phone call.

Jenny came home from school, dropped her backpack, and picked up the phone. As she caught her breath, she waited for her friend to pick up. “Hi. Amy? Are you doing anything tonight?” Becca was curious which movie Jenny wanted to see with her friend. “Can you come over? Yeah, I wondered if you would pray with me about some things I’m struggling with.” Becca and Emily hung up the phone in stunned silence.

The sermon was about a shepherd searching for one lost sheep. “Strange,” Becca thought, “Why doesn’t he talk about something we can understand, like looking for the lost keys to my SUV?” Pastor Jacobs described the unconditional love of the shepherd, who gives everything to save one lost lamb. He explained that “everything” included giving even his own life. “Die?” thought Becca in horror. “How could anyone die to save a lamb that ran away? Surely he has other, more obedient sheep.”

The pastor continued by comparing the shepherd to Jesus. He described the terrible way Jesus died, and Joe’s picture came vividly back to mind. “Jesus died for one lost, lonely person,” the pastor said.

While the choir sang an invitation, the emptiness that had invaded her whole life turned into a longing for something. Becca wanted to know this love. She was so focused on the turmoil in her spirit that she barely realized she was walking to the front of the church. All she could think was, “I want what my friends have.”

To God be all glory.